RDT Reviews Wrestlemania XXII

WrestleMania22

WWE Wrestlemania 22
April 2, 2006
Chicago (Rosemont), IL
Reviewed on March 7, 2014

Background: We are well into the John Cena era, and there have been some recent bumps along the way. Cena was a very popular WWE Champion for about three months….and then went up against workrate favorites Chris Jericho and Kurt Angle and lost his babyface steam. Amazingly, Cena would actually never regain that babyface steam, constantly being booed for the next eight years. The John Cena character is one of the weirdest ones in WWE history when you think about it.

There was a small hiccup in the Cena reign though as Edge cashed in the first Money in the Bank and held the title for a few months. Batista, someone else who’s been the face of the WWE for the last year, got injured. Kurt Angle made a surprise move to Smackdown and won the World Title, trigging a short but exciting time for WWE in general. Edge and Angle as champs were more interesting than Batista and Cena for sure. Have no fear Cena and Batista fans though…these two would be at the very top for the next five years…and even eight years from the event as well.

Also, it is worth pointing out that Eddie Guerrero passed away five months prior. One of the major storylines revolved around Eddie Guerrero’s death, which involved Randy Orton being an outright dick and Rey Mysterio shocking everyone in winning the Royal Rumble.

The Card

This is the last Wrestlemania that was held in an arena I believe. It’s been a three year streak (Mania XX at MSG, XXI at Staples).

World Tag Team Championship
Big Show and Kane© vs. Carlito and Chris Masters

The only small story here is that Carlito and Masters have had some recent issues getting along.

It’s interesting that Chris Masters got a push when he wasn’t good, but when he was improving in 2011 he got released.

Kane with a flying clothesline from the top to the outside. Probably the best spot we’ll get in this one.

Carlito and Masters with a double flapjack on the Big Show. What strength!

Kane and Big Show retain when Kane pinned Carlito in 6:01. Masters accidentally hits Carlito, and Kane gets the chokeslam. Masters an Carlito argue afterwards. Match was 80% Kane and Big Show. This would be the end of the Chris Masters run for the most part, and the idea that Carlito could be a top guy didn’t make it to 2007. I guess this was okay, not really the hot opener Wrestlemania needs.

The Coach interviews Shawn Michaels. Did Coach turn face at some point? He was a heel in late 05.

Money in the Bank
Bobby Lashley vs. Ric Flair vs. Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin

Only Shelton returns from last year. This is an odd group to be honest. Lashley, Finlay and Flair?

Finlay was such a random comeback in 2006. His run was enjoyable though.

Fans hot for RVD.

RVD with an over the top rope dive onto Matt Hardy, who was holding a ladder. Lawler points out that was a stupid move. I agree, it probably hurt RVD more.

Benjamin sets the ladder up as a stairway up the ropes….then does a running Senton onto Lashley, RVD and Hardy. Nice! Benjamin made a star out of himself at Mania XXI’s MITB.

Matt Hardy superplexes the 57 year old Ric Flair off the top of the ladder…which leads to Flair screaming in pain. Refs throw up the x, but I think that’s a work.

RVD misses a Rolling Thunder on the ladder. Ouch.

Benjamin with an awesome sunset flip powerbomb attempt off the ladder to Lashley…only he needed two others to finish the powerbomb.

Flair makes his way back! WOOO!

Flair takes ANOTHER top of the ladder bump when Finlay hits him with his club. Flair is so sick.

RVD knocks Lashley off with a dropkick/chair combo! Not sure if that’s called the Van Daminator in that case.

RVD with a top rope splash off a ladder to Finlay. ECW! ECW! Amazing that a year 2006 turns out to be for ECW.

RVD is about to win before Benjamin goes all Spider-Man.

Rob Van Dam wins in 12:14. Benjamin and Matt Hardy fight on a ladder next to RVD’s, and RVD kicks the ladder away. I think Benjamin is supposed to straddle the top rope but misses. RVD then grabs the case. While this is a fun match, it’s arguably the weakest Money in the Bank Match. It was too short, and outside of Shelton Benjamin, lacking any creativity. Lashley and Finlay seemed miscast.

Randy Orton interrupts Hall of Famer Mean Gene Okerlund! The injured Batista interrupts Orton, tells him he’s going to win the belt when he comes back. Funny, these could be considered shots fired to set up Wrestlemania eight years later!
Hall of Fame. There is a nice trolling line from Howard Finkel. “Ladies and Gentlemen Hall of Famer Bret “The Hitman” Hart….was not comfortable in participating in this evening’s event. Awesome Fink.

Okerlund, Sherri, Tony Atlas, Verne Gagne, William “The Fridge” Perry, The Blackjacks.

And Eddie Guerrero. Huge cheers here. And rightfully so.

WWE United States Championship
Chris Benoit© vs. JBL

Story: Benoit apparently broke JBL’s hand in the past…but it is healed now.

Cole says that JBL bragged about beating Eddie at GAB 04, so if he beats Benoit here, in his mind he becomes the greatest technical wrestler ever. Tazz says that remains to be seen. Um…no it doesn’t. Not at all.

This is going to be a stiff one.

Benoit tried to be JBL the same way he beat Orlando Jordan….with the Crossface in 30 seconds.

JBL has never been in the greatest shape…but he’s clearly not in good shape here.

This match has absolutely no flow. I know it may be easy to blame JBL here, but I do think Benoit might have just given up at this point as well. Probably 75 on JBL, 25 on Benoit.

Eddie starts mocking Eddie Guerrero. I didn’t think the Rey stuff was in bad taste…but JBL doing it here? That’s bad taste.

JBL won’t stop with the Eddie stuff.

JBL now doing a very slow Three Amigos. Awful.

Benoit later does the Three Amigos. Benoit is the best friend of Guerrero, and he’s the face. That’s why it’s better there.

JBL wins the title when he pinned Benoit in 9:48. Benoit locks in the Crossface and JBL easily rolls into an advantageous pin combo for the win. He also used the ropes. Finish was okay I guess, but the match didn’t flow and had some bad moments. One of the worst Benoit matches I’d ever seen.

Hardcore Match
Mick Foley vs. Edge

Apparently Foley was a ref in a Cena-Edge title match, and Edge blamed Foley for the loss. Edge is also disgusted that Foley went from Hardcore Legend to a human muppet.

Joey Styles gets to call this match! He’s about to lose his Wrestlemania virginity!

Foley looks really fat coming out…but that’s actually intentional.

Brutal cookie sheet shots. Jeez.

Baseball slide dropkicks a sign into Foley’s face!

Spear….but Edge is hurt? Foley was wearing another shirt…and underneath was barbed wire!

Edge’s arm is bleeding.

Foley starts whipping Edge is the wire. It looks sicker than it sounds. And it sounds sick.

Lita saves Edge from Barbie by jumping on Foley’s back, but then Foley has the sick idea to do a Cactus Clothesline with Lita on him! Great spot.

Wow Edge just slams Foley hard on the steel ramp. That hurt me.

Edge douses Foley in lighter fluid. My god.

Foley is about to con-chair-to (with a pan and a chair) on Edge but Lita tries to make the save. Foley looks downright frightening and Lita sells is great when Foley threatens to hit her with the chair.

Edge with a perfect shot to Foley’s head with Barbie…Foley’s busted.

Edge actually brings in the thumbtacks!

Foley counters Edge and makes Edge a human pin cushion. Oh My God!

Barbed Wire Socko!

Lita gets Barbed Wire Socko was well!

You have to give Edge a lot of credit here. He didn’t wear a shirt for all of this violence. I’m sure he still has scars.

Edge pinned Mick Foley in 14:36. Foley pours lighter fluid on the table…but Lita hits him with Barbie! Lita lights the table on fire….and EDGE SPEARS HIM THROUGH THE 2ND ROPE THROUGH THE FLAMING TABLE. What a sick fuck. Edge should have just been handed his Hall of Fame Ring right there. Edge gets the pin on the floor. I’d have to double check, but I’m pretty sure this was my 2006 Match of the Year. This also provided a great backdrop to the One Night Stand 06 six person tag.

Incredible match, and it made up for what had been a lackluster show so far.

At first I thought Edge was just selling the fire brilliantly, then I realized he probably just burned himself instead. What a sick match.

Booker T goes through a hallway of freaks…Pirate Paul Burchill, Gene Snitsky, Ted Dibiase, Eugene, Mae Young and Goldust in a dress (Oprah-dust). Funny segment…even if the Snitsky-Young part is a little too much (He’s licking her foot).

Dibiase with some epic laughing at the end.

Handicap Match
Booker T and Queen Sharmell vs. The Boogeyman

Can this match follow Edge vs. Foley?!?

I liked the Boogeyman character. I liked the theme song. I liked the entrance.

I hated Boogeyman wrestling.

Haha Booker tries to have Sharmell start the match. Awesome.

It was a trap! A funny one though.

Booker is owning early. Boogeyman does sell the side kick brilliantly to be fair.

Boogeyman is doing the Boogeyman version of the Hulk Up!

Book-End!

Boogeyman kicks out!

Boogeyman offense looks uncoordinated.

OMG THE WORMS!

He ATE THE WORMS!

The Boogeyman pins Booker T in 3:43. Boogeyman kisses Sharmell with the worms…then chokebombs Booker T for the win. This was pretty bad…although it should have been a lot worse. What the fuck did Booker T do to deserve this for Wrestlemania? Amazingly, King Booker would be World Champion four months later.

Probably the best booked Women’s Title feud ever coming up.

Women’s Championship
Trish Stratus© vs. Mickie James

Story: Mickie James is Trish Stratu’s stalker. It started off as her biggest fan…and turned into being sexually attracted to her. It’s not just the storyline that’s great…but how convincing Mickie is in the role. No idea what happened to Mickie afterwards as I don’t remember a thing until Piggy James four years later.

Jim Ross takes a random shot at Lawler…telling him Mickie may be too old for her because she is in her early 20s.

I do believe there is a taunt from Mickie edited out of the WWE Network version of this….which is Mickie air licking a V made by her hands. You figure it out.

Trish with some really hard chops.

Blocked kick turns into a split from Mickie. Nice.

Trish dropkicks Mickie from the ring. Hard to explain, but it was a cooler than the standard dropkick.

Trish Chick Kick’s the ring post. Creative spots here.

Mickie DDT’s the ankle. Just tons of creativity.

Crowd is very hot for Mickie James. They actually boo Trish Stratus.

Mickie really works on the leg.

Fantastic head scissors by Trish with her legs crossed. Horrible fans for booing that.

Mickie counters the Trish corner handstand and starts shrieking like a maniac. Amazing.

Running powerbomb by Trish…but Mickie showed excitement when her legs were wrapped around Trish’s head. Amazing telling of the story.

Mickie counters the Stratusfaction by grabbing Trish’s crotch. Just wow.

Mickie James wins the Women’s Title when she pinned Trish at 8:48. The match is just amazing…but unfortunately Mickie’s Stratusfaction attempt is horribly botched. The WWE Network cuts out the botch…but I remember it clearly. Mickie tries to save it with a Chick Kick, but that hurt the match a lot. Still a very good match.

I forgot that all the McMahon’s, even Linda, were heels here. Time for a McMahon family prayer!

“God, let’s face it, I don’t like you, and you don’t like me.” And it only gets better. Sure maybe mocking God is in bad taste, but I do find it funny here.

Casket Match
The Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

This was before Henry’s 2008 emergence as a legit bad ass. In 2006, he still kinda sucked.

Henry has the very underrated “Echo” as his theme music. It’s pretty awesome.

Taker had just morphed into Match of the Year Taker as he had a match of the Year Candidate at No Way Out a month prior against Kurt Angle.

Just wondering, why didn’t we get Angle vs. Taker here and Orton vs. Rey for the Title?

Match is being built as Mark Henry being an immovable object. I get it, but it doesn’t really work here as the Undertaker should be able to take down Mark Henry here.

Old School! Nope, Henry ruined it.

Taker gets it on the 2nd attempt.

Taker hasn’t knocked Mark Henry down yet. See, it just doesn’t seem that believable.

World Strongest Slam! Cover! Mark eventually figures out there are no pins in a Casket Match.

Taker does the Samoan Headbutt spot with Henry.

Taker powerbombs Henry out of the corner. He finally knocked Henry down!

Undertaker busts out the over the top rope dive to Henry! He outright clears the casket too!

Undertaker wins in 9:28. Tombstone then Henry is rolled into the Casket. Match is a lot worse than I remember it…but Taker saves it a little with the over the top rope dive. Sometimes it is the moment that matters.

No Holds Barred
Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. McMahon

Story here: McMahon gives the fans what he wants. HBK gives the fans what the fans want. Vince is looking to screw HBK worse than he screwed Bret.

Vince has a poster of him on Fitness Magazine at ringside.

Shawn smashes the poster over Vince’s head. Pretty funny.

Shawn dominated the beginning…but here comes The Spirit Squad!

This is Dolph Ziggler’s Wrestlemania debut everybody!

HBK takes out the Squad.

Vince has control thanks to the Squad. For the record this is how Vince should be booked. He’s not a wrestler, so he should need help to get advantages.

Vince is mocking Bret Hart here.

Now he’s loading up for Sweet Chin Music!

Shawn blocks!

Michaels’ regains control and hits his spots. Very nice elbow from the top. So now that he’s in control, you know what that means? It means Shane McMahon is here! Kendo stick shot to Michaels!

Shane’s got handcuffs!

Vince is taking off his pants. Kiss My Ass Club time!

Shawn counters…and Shane joins the club.

Shawn handcuffs Shane to the outside of the ring. Shawn mocks Shane’s taunt…then beats the crap out of him with the kendo stick. Crowd gets into it.

Absolutely brutal chairshot to the head of Vince. You will not see shots like that ever again.

Ladder shot to the head of Vince!

Garbage Can shot to the head of Vince! I’m starting to feel bad for Vince.

Shawn Michaels pins Mr. McMahon in 18:22. Shawn gets a huge ladder and sets Vince up in the center of the ring on a table. You can see Shane holding down the ladder on the outside. Vince is on the table in a garbage can. We get the DX sign. Huge elbow drop through Vince and the table! Shawn makes sure to get Sweet Chin Music in for the win. I mean this is a good match overall I think. I do think it is a bit much at the end when beats the crap out of McMahon. Weird as it sounds, but this match is the violent version of Bret vs. Vince four years later. It never looked like Vince was the better wrestler, which is good. Also, the moment is once again really good. Also, bonus points for Vince flipping Michaels off while being stretchered away. Also good DX foreshadowing.

World Heavyweight Championship
Kurt Angle© vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton

Angle had absolutely taken out the comedy portion of his character at this point. It’s a shame we didn’t see an extended WWE run of this Angle.

Of course, the exploitation of Eddie Guerrero’s death is all over this, and while it’s a bit much, I do think it’s okay. Like I am okay with Rey doing Eddie stuff. But not when Orton says Eddie is in hell.

I totally forgot how lame it was to get Orton and Rey in the match. Teddy Long just re-adds Rey back in after Orton beat him at No Way Out.

POD Live for Rey. Rey looks like a mini-Tatanka with his entrance attire.

Angle’s pyro is pretty incredible.

Orton with a great start, takes the WHC belt from the ref and nails Angle.

Angle does a double German suplex to Orton and Rey…and Rey goes flying!

These three do a lot of really fun spots, like Angle sending Rey into Orton, who was on the top rope…and Rey finishing with a hurricanrana.

Let’s Go Angle. Shame fans aren’t more into Rey. Another reason they should have went with Taker vs. Angle and Rey vs. Orton.

Angle counters the 619 with an Ankle Lock! Rey taps, but Orton distracts the ref.

Angle is just destroying everyone with germans. Poor Rey landed on his face. And he got Angle Slammed over the top rope.

Now Orton taps….but the ref was distracted by Rey. Really protecting Angle here, and actually, I’m okay with that.

Angle kicks out of a RKO!

Rey tries a 619 using the ringpost, but he loses grip. Unfortunate botch there.

Orton does this gutwrench neckbreaker. Why doesn’t he bring that back?

Orton survives an Angle Slam.

Rey Mysterio wins the World Title when he pins Orton in 9:19. Rey counters an Angle Lock into an armdrag that sends Angle out. 619 and Springboard Hurricanrana to Orton for the win. Match had good moments, but it was underwhelming. This was supposed to be Rey’s big moment, but all we got was a 9 minute match that Kurt Angle dominated anyway. The moves were really good though. Angle was the man. Don’t remember Rey being booed like that in favor of Angle though.

Rey winning is a good moment though. I never thought Rey Mysterio would win a world championship. He ended up with three.

JR is hyping up HHH vs. Cena. Video of Cena got booed. I think JR has forgotten about the Pillow Fight.

Playboy Pillow Fight
Torrie Wilson vs. Candace Michelle

I think Torrie’s theme is dubbed…as this is the Laycool theme playing. Maybe I don’t remember correctly and she had this though.

Candace is hot. Torrie is hot. That’s the whole match.

Looking it up, it looks like Torrie had the Laycool theme before Laycool. How about that.

Candance does get this one cool leg choke that’s where she handstands on the apron.

Torrie Wilson pins Candace Michelle in 3:54. A little too long for my tastes, but it was great to look at for sure.

WWE Championship
John Cena© vs. Triple H

Story here is that HHH thinks Cena is a second rate champion. I normally don’t like that narrative as it usually diminishes the title, but it works here as Cena kinda was that as he won the title on Smackdown.

New HHH music. Behold the King…the King of Kings!

Triple H’s entrance is ridiculous. He looks like a 2nd rate Conan the Barbarian.

JR brings up that this was HHH’s 11th straight Mania, and the record was set by Bret with 12. HHH wouldn’t get there, as he missed Mania 23 with an injury.

Cena’s is a bit funny (it also described the 1 vs 99% thing) although just as ridiculous with the 20’s gangster feel. But now, the most important part of the show.

CM Punk was in the main event of Wrestlemania!!!! He’s hanging on the car in Cena’s entrance!

Anyway…

Cena is just getting booed out of the building. Shows Chicago hated him away before CM Punk vs. Cena at MITB 11.

The storyline is very similar to HHH vs. Booker at Wrestlemania XIX.

HHH shows dominance early, giving the impression that he’s outwrestling Cena.

There’s even fuck you Cena chants in this. Didn’t think that began until ONS 06.

HHH goes for a piledriver on the floor…but gets backdropped on the ramp. Ouch.

NANANANANANANA HEY HEY HEY GOOD BYE chant. No idea why.

Awesome clothesline from HHH.

HHH working on the neck. Neckbreakers, neck vices, sleepers.

Big Cena comeback here. BOOOOOOOO!

Five Knuckle Shuffle countered into a Spinebuster!

He gets it the second time…and here is the STFU! Will the Game tap?!

HHH survives.

FU…countered and HHH shoves Cena and the ref into corner…then low blows them both!

HHH with the DX crotch chop. Foreshadowing!

Here comes the Sledgehammer!

HHH nails him!

Cena kicks out!

FU to HHH!

HHH kicks out!

Cena up top? Okay? Totally misses the crossbody. How random.

John Cena retains the title by making HHH submit in 22:02. HHH goes for the pedigree…but Cena turns it into a STFU. HHH tries to get to the ropes…but he’s forced to submit. It’s a solid match, but I don’t think it’s anything special. HHH put Cena over here, and that seems correct. You can’t go with the “this guy isn’t a good wrestler” narrative and then beat him down too (right Booker?)

This Wrestlemania had some good moments, some bad moments and a lot of whatever. Opener was whatever. RVD winning MITB II was good, and the match was decent. No idea what happened to Benoit, must have been an off night or JBL was that bad at this point. Foley vs. Edge was amazing. Booker/Sharmell vs. Boogey was the opposite. Trish vs. Mickie was great. Taker vs. Henry was whatever, but Taker gave it a moment with his dive. HBK vs. Vince is a bit of a fun brawl with some parts that dragged. Rey’s title win was a let down, although the match I guess is okay for what it was. Pillow Fight was fun to look at. HHH vs. Cena was solid, although not the most exciting of Wrestlemania main events.

Interesting note here: You know why WWE doesn’t care if you boo guys like Batista now? Because you booed Cena eight years ago and it didn’t matter, no one bit. Fans will give their money to WWE no matter what it seems. I’m included with that. I bought the Network after all.

Enough good moments here to get this out of C range, but I wouldn’t flat out call it good.

Final Grade: B-